He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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