I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
