Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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