3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
