Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
