brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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