Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
