At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
