I am puke
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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