Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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