Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize