then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
