apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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