It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
