It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
