just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
