P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
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