Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
