so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
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It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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