ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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