really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
