we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
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