chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
