atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
