Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Michael Bay diarrhea
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
