I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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