so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
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