Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
