Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I didn't shave. On purpose
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
