she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
