You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
