i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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