Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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