So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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