Are we in a gay sports bar?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize