Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
