hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I smell like Dick and happiness
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
