I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
