you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You were trust falling into bushes
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
