I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.