i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?