I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
