Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
you inspire me to be a worse person
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.