Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
