so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
