I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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