is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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