His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize