Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
