I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
