her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
In America we eat man semen.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
My ass is underappreciated
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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