My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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