I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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