Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
