I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
