hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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