Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
