im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
