There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
