I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
