My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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