ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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