my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
