On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
