I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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