Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize