i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Someone signed my nipple.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
