i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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