You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
